Today is my birthday.
It’s the first birthday in 20 years where I don’t have homework, school or anything of that nature occupying my mind. I’m currently sitting in my parents’ living room listening to Friends and my heart is full.
I’m 25 years old and I don’t have a single clue what I am doing with my life and for the first time, I’m okay with that. I consider my birthday my personal new year and this time last year I never thought I’d meet the people I have met this year, gone on Warped Tour, graduated college and moved back in with my parents. I never thought I’d be happy not knowing what to do next, I never thought I’d cut back on crying and I never thought I’d be persistent in getting what I want on my own terms.
I started my quarter-life crisis a month ago, just around the time Warped Tour ended and if anything, my nights spent having panic attacks have taught me that I have never wanted something as much as I want to be a successful touring photographer. And I have to be patient. And I have to remind myself that everything happens in due time. And I have to trust in the universe.
I have high hopes for 25. After spending 4 hours in a bar with a dear friend I have made the decision to not let anything that happens make me jaded. I don’t ever want to forget how it feels when I fall in love with a band and their music is the only thing I listen to for a month. I don’t want to forget what it’s like to be nervous to meet someone. I don’t want to forget what it’s like to be a fan. That’s why I do what I do, because I’m madly in love with music and art and there isn’t anything else I can see myself doing.
25, you look wonderful.
Happy new year, happy birthday.