sleeping outside.

remembering walking around the pond in indiana with maddie and looking up and seeing the stars, talking about the 4th of july and how fun it’d be to celebrate it in canada. i’m remembering her telling me the stories of her camping with her family. and i’m remembering telling her i’ve never gone camping and she insisted i visit denver as soon as i can so we can fall asleep underneath the stars.

i want to fall asleep outside right now. the weather right now feels like the weather in indiana and it’s making me wish i were camping with my faraway friend.

25 sittin’ on 25 mill…ion tears (happy birthday to me pt. 2)

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10676331_650220114527_605687990287581762_ndespite what happens, i must remember that i’ve accomplished a lot this year. i must stay persistent, positive and patient. this industry is difficult, but i must remember that it is rare for recent college graduates to find work within their field 2 weeks after graduation. these things take time and i must be patient.

remember, remember, remember.

screencaps from my warped tour announcement video.

 

25 sittin’ on 25 mill…ion tears (happy birthday to me!)

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Today is my birthday.

It’s the first birthday in 20 years where I don’t have homework, school or anything of that nature occupying my mind. I’m currently sitting in my parents’ living room listening to Friends and my heart is full.

I’m 25 years old and I don’t have a single clue what I am doing with my life and for the first time, I’m okay with that. I consider my birthday my personal new year and this time last year I never thought I’d meet the people I have met this year, gone on Warped Tour, graduated college and moved back in with my parents. I never thought I’d be happy not knowing what to do next, I never thought I’d cut back on crying and I never thought I’d be persistent in getting what I want on my own terms.

I started my quarter-life crisis a month ago, just around the time Warped Tour ended and if anything, my nights spent having panic attacks have taught me that I have never wanted something as much as I want to be a successful touring photographer. And I have to be patient. And I have to remind myself that everything happens in due time. And I have to trust in the universe.

 

I have high hopes for 25. After spending 4 hours in a bar with a dear friend I have made the decision to not let anything that happens make me jaded. I don’t ever want to forget how it feels when I fall in love with a band and their music is the only thing I listen to for a month. I don’t want to forget what it’s like to be nervous to meet someone. I don’t want to forget what it’s like to be a fan. That’s why I do what I do, because I’m madly in love with music and art and there isn’t anything else I can see myself doing.

25, you look wonderful.

Happy new year, happy birthday.

Making the Most of Life

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The path to wisdom and success is not for Kings alone;
It is open to you and me.
You may not succeed at first, but the failure of your efforts may be the needed preparation for your final triumph.
If there are a hundred steps in your path to success and you have not reached it in ninety-nine of them, do not conclude that the journey is a failure.
Press on and up…
The prizes are generally at the end of an effort, not at its beginning.
And not to go on is to miss them.
Be valiant. Have faith in yourself.
Success belongs to him who dares to win it.

-George S. Forest

notes from my journal.

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taken from my final mentor meetings. december 12, 2013 was the day she told me to let my first year out of college be bad. and christ, it’s been a ride thus far. i have 3 months left in my “first year out” and i still don’t know what images i’m using in the book.

who knows. maybe i’ll end up making all the photographs this month and leaving it at that.

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